Twelve amusing excuses for being late to work

In a past life, I have been guilty of being late to work for various reasons, mostly related to lack of sleep and procrastination.

There have been a few cases where I was legitimately not “on the floor and working” by my scheduled start time.

1. Police Shootout Closes the Interstate

Whose manager is going to believe that excuse?  Not mine.  Let’s consider how ridiculous this really is.

A bank robber is shot dead by police on a 15 mile stretch of road in Western Kentucky 20 minutes before I’m scheduled to be at work.  Someone give me a probability on how likely this is to ever happen?

2. A Cement Mixing Truck Rolls, Spilling onto I-64

I will find a link as soon as possible.

Sitting in traffic was a hobby of mine at that time of my life.  My patience is no longer as conditioned.  If this were to happen today, I’d expect road rage or at a minimum, a lot of loud cursing.

3. Getting pulled over, twice

Pretty embarrassing in the Middle of Nowhere, Kentucky.  I was working midnights on the weekend while in school.  I see red and blue lights in my rearview mirror.  10mph over the speed limit seemed trivial to me, but I pulled over anyway.  The car pulls up next to me honking its horn and laughing… drunk kids.

They got me. I’m a gullible idiot, perfect.

Two miles down the road, suprise!  A roadblock with real cop cars.  And guess who is getting out of their vehicle?  Drunk fake-cop kids!  I smiled.

“Have you been drinking?” the roadblock cop asked me.

“Uh no, just going to work”.

“At Midnight?”, the interrogation continued.  I didn’t mind though cause I got to see fake-cop driver kid fail his field of sobriety test.

When the cop returned from running my license he  asked me, “Have you been crying or something?”.  Wow.