Beyonce is my dentist.

Don’t be jealous.

She’s undercover, but I know the truth.  She was singing, yesterday, while drilling into my teeth.

Right as she was stabbing my gums with a lidocaine injection, “Celebrate good times, come on…”, began playing on the radio.  I started to laugh and then the needle stole my attention.

The sound of a dental drill hurts my feelings.

Which comes to my first point.  Brush yo teeth.

For more advice on life, including wearing deodorant, buying property, etc., see the  “Read a book” music video (NSFW) from 2007.